Facebook, dont think I dont know what you're up to...

Good morning! It's another lovely day here in sunny California. Today I'm not going to be talking about something I hate, but rather - people I hate. Today I'm going to be talking about facebook, and the people who use facebook. Let me first preface this by saying, I am a facebook user, I dont hate it, I dont love it, I'm pretty much indifferent. I will say, it serves its purpose for me, and I think the rest of it's users, but I'll get into that shortly.

The other day I came across a friend of mine (much younger, about 22 or so). She really sent me into a whole other state of "you are exponentially more irritating to me now than you were 12 seconds ago." Now, what she said wasn't that big a deal (to the naked ear), but I hear this statement all too often these days, and its really starting to send me over the edge. She said the following:

"Dude, (so and so) messaged me today, he was like "nice pic, let me know if you're free for coffee this week" hes totally facebook stalking me. He was looking through my vacation pics!!!"

I say this as a 28 year old, single, God fearing woman: Shutup. Seriously, for the love of God, just shutup. I mean its true, how dare this guy (whom youve called your "friend" on facebook) misinterpret your profile pic of you in a string bikini, blowing kisses, as anything more than a friendly hello. You poor, poor thing. Someone has noticed you from the picture that you put on display on the WORLD WIDE WEB, that you CEARLY wanted no one to see, and mistaken you for something other than the attention seeking, wannabe diva that you really are. God forbid someone take an interest in YOU, and invite you to coffee. Who does he think you are? Some girl who wants to be solicited by decent young men for caffeinated drinks??? To you, again, I say - shutup.

Now listen, we can all claim a billion reasons for having a facebook. "Oh, its just a great way to keep in touch with old friends." "I use it for networking, its a great way to get your name out there" BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, people. This term, "facebook stalker" what does that even mean? You can say what you want, but lets call a spade a spade: If you (or I) have a facebook, we're stalkers. The number 1 reason why people have facebook (which they'd never admit, but I assure you, its the truth) WE'RE NOSEY!!! Everyone on facebook is a stalker! We love facebook because we can find out exactly what we want to know about people, who they're friends with, who they're dating, what they're up to (literally daily) without ever having to speak to them! If you ask me, it's ideal.

Now you can say what you like, "I'm not a stalker, and facebook stalkers are creepy." Really? Is that why you posted your mardi gras pics up there "Look, I got beads!!!" and tagged 245 people in it...because you just want your "privacy" and dont want to be bothered? Is that why you commented on 345 different pics of your sisters, fiance's, brothers dog? Really? Is it? The reality is, is that facebook is made by stalkers, for stalkers. And lets be real ladies, the difference between a "stalker" and a "really sweet guy" is directly proportional to how much you actually like the guy. If you're not interested its "ew, hes so creepy and wont leave me alone" because he commented on your status of "I'm having such a bad day, all I want is to be loved..." but someone who you actually like, even if he calls you a moron (which is most likely true) is "just so cute and funny".

This notion that you can have a facebook, and NOT be a stalker is totally false, and more importantly, annoying. We have facebook so we can stalk, we post things on facebook, to be stalked - honestly posting on facebook and getting annoyed that people look at it, its essentially a cyber - slutty dress. You want people to look sweetheart, you're not foolin anyone.